Finding your tribe - lonely or alone?
The monthly substack question from Illoguild - my nuanced response
It’s hard to be lonely with a cat and our feral beast loves to jump on my work and mess up the pile of stickies, adorned with tasks and priorities.
As an illustrator, I don’t feel lonely - I need a lot of quiet time to concentrate and have a virtual critique group and a bulging audio list. That said, visiting SCBWI conference in Manchester and Bologna Children’s Book Fair in person were so incredibly uplifting that I do wonder what it would be like to work in a huge shared space of creatives (wearing ear defenders!). It would be fantastic to have a local illustrator group that I could meet in person and is something I have never explored.
As a full time worker, I don’t feel lonely - my role requires a mix of solo working and group zoom calls around the UK and it is cost effective to work from home. But when we have planned team days or office meet ups, I realise how isolating it can be at a desk, in the lounge, looking out over a secluded cul-de-sac. Luckily my husband works from home and he makes a lot of noise, so it never gets too quiet.
As a Mum and carer of kids with different learning styles, I have plenty of women around me who can empathise with the specific challenges of complex needs. It hadn’t occurred to me just how much I needed these other parents in my life until we moved schools and suddenly there was no judgement, no condescending looks: just open arms and a night at the pub once a quarter to let our hair down.
The way in which I do feel alone is being a creative with intense caring responsibilities, in a full time job - scratching around for nuggets of time to progress my wildest desires of writing and painting. I wish I knew a few of those kind of people, who are on a less linear path of progression, who could support (aka ‘form an alliance with..’) one another to keep turning up (at weird times of the night, probably).
It would also be great to find a mentor - someone to help keep me on track and validate a few of the 100 ideas which come to me daily, which mostly end up in a fat, dog-eared notebook - smouldering with possibility and promise. Maybe that would take the form of an agent, even some kind of career councillor or most likely: yet another pile of yellow stickies and talking them through with the cat.
Call to action
If you know a creative person, who works full time, who is a carer and would like to form an alliance…..Share below:-
Have a read of other responses to this month’s question from Illoguild:
Books published this month by Illoguild members:
Jen Jamieson:
Finn Jones Was Here by Simon James Green, Jennifer Jamieson | Waterstones
Adam Ming: