Hello 2024, after an honest appraisal of 2023

Instead of making new resolutions each year, write a list of outcomes you want to achieve and diarise complimentary activities.

Today is a bright and chilly start to my final week off work before the new school term begins and a new contract commences. The first quarter of every year is usually a bit of a slog - dark mornings, muddy footprints in the hall, wet glasses and ravaged hands. But by January I know Spring is around the corner and the shortest day has been and gone.

It is also the time of year when I review all my successes from the past 12 months and celebrate those changes, big and small, that have taken me a few steps in positive directions. My IG Top Nine indicated that collage, gouache and conferences were my most popular content (along with my new haircut!!!)

Of course, this result didn’t express what I put most of my effort into. Every week for the past 2 years I have kept a note in my phone of Progress; Plans and Ah-Ha’s (mostly relating to creative pursuits). Sometimes I fill out the plan several weeks in advance. Other months I have to retrospectively complete my progress but I really enjoy keeping this tab open - it gives me a little nudge to keep moving forward. Here is what I recorded:

• Jan: Review with Ohn Mar Win on my illustrative style to date

• Feb: Designed a business card and reworked website; visited family in Scotland

• March: Joined members of Illoguild in Bologna to visit the Children’s Book Fair for 4 days; 4 portfolio reviews and numerous talks and workshops; watched Orange Beak with Victoria Semykina

• April: Explored collage portraits; took part in Sketchbook Revival and Mats Arty Book Pitch course

• May: Attended Lauren Child in conversation at University of the Arts London

• June: Invested in printer/scanner and started to back up work from past 4 years; hit weekly swim target of 84 lengths per hour

• July: Submitted collage illustration to SCBWI sketchbook competition and won; visited family in Cumbria

• August: Attended Illustrators picnic with Steve Lenton; started a new job; visited friends in Dorset and Cornwall

• September: Social media and illustration reviews with Mallory Grigg and SCBWI; reduced working hours

• October: Submitted work to SCBWI sketchbook competition and was selected, attended Emma Bridgewater in conversation; commenced garage conversion

• November: Attended SCBWI Annual Conference in Manchester, book concept review with Libby Hamilton; attended work conference in Liverpool

• December: Attended Authofy Christmas party in London; joined The Goodship Illustration Picture Book course; entered Books That Help mentorship competition; visited family in Scotland.

Seeing it in print is sort of surprising. My creative goal was simply: ‘Get people and animals moving across the page’ and it didn’t feel attainable within 12 months. The activities I planned in would not appear to support this objective. And yet:-

Last January, I was intentional in a slightly different way than usual and chose 7 big outcomes which covered areas of family, health, friendship, creativity, finances and education. In my day job we describe an outcome as a situation or state which is achieved through the completion of many small outputs. It wasn’t obvious to me at the time, but my personal ambitions for 2023 were not linked to creating a killer portfolio or writing a best selling picture book. They were instead aligned with getting my core values back in check; offering acts of service to others and easing myself into the next season of life (because now, I have 3 eye prescriptions which means I am getting very bloody old).

Looking back, my sneaking suspicion is that without these building blocks in place, the Universe knew that the portfolio and book would elude me for a good long while and that perhaps I was chasing the wrong dream for me at this time. Here’s an example. Working full time with kids and a home to run only leaves a few spare hours but if you have no energy due to poor nutrition, perhaps you need to reorganise the cupboards and learn to cook, rather than buying yet another set of paints. There were quite a few areas of life which needed a spring clean, to work more efficiently.

My cat had the right idea - a little break was required. A PAWS for thought. Hehe. Look at the feral beast though - he’s so handsome. And very wicked.

I started with great intentions, looking at the list above, but the year took a left hand turn in June when my caring duties increased due to family illness. Whilst global events were pulling communities apart, my own nucleus turned inwards we and committed to take care of one another without resentment or guilt. This is an important distinction, since both of these human emotions can become toxic really quickly - especially if you inadvertently blame a personal situation for your lack of progress. I was stuck in a loop of feeling desperate for more ‘time’. As the weeks ticked by, I started looking for the growth opportunities in all my chores and they ultimately helped me to believe what the Vicar spoke about at my own wedding 12 years ago - There is Freedom in Service.

There wasn’t much headspace available to complete multiple art projects but I did make a big effort to get out and meet professional and creative people IRL. There were Domestika courses to continue, Podcasts to keep up with and brilliant books to listen to in my Audible account when personal time was short. All the while, I carried on making scribbles in my sketchbook, with no requirement to finish anything.

The result? I reconnected with friends and family; visited people we had missed during Covid; made new friends; worked hard on my fitness; created zones to help with emotional regulation in the house; travelled back out into nature and recycled a lot of household baggage which was holding us back. Despite hibernating for much of December to recuperate, I felt amazing about my personal accomplishments for the year. In a photo montage of my favourite memories it was apparent that there had been more smiles and happiness than many preceding years, in which I simply didn’t feel ‘enough’.

In 2023, I took up more space.

An unexpected turn of events became apparent (apart from Jen Jamieson appearing in all my happy photos): my personal style had changed. Lines loosened up; drawing people and connections felt more natural; ideas for stories based on listening to others started to creep in around the edges.

By stepping away from rigid plans to create, something new and exciting had emerged - a more authentic exploration of children at play. I hope it is here to stay.

It’s time to plan out my next year and experience has shown that thinking about outcomes rather than outputs is the way forward. Perhaps something about understanding the pairing of my various media and paper together; the ability to draw 2 children in any variety of yoga positions; feeling comfortable with a personal palette?

What were your best efforts put towards in 2023? I invite you to list them out, congratulate yourself and then become intentional for 2024!

Thanks for reading

Wishing you a happy and prosperous 2024

x Tabsy x

Next week our global creative group of authors/illustrators: Illoguild will re-introduce themselves. Check out the IG and substack page for more thoughts and advice on living a creative life.

In January, the Illoguild question is “Who are you?” - Let’s meet the illoguild. See you there!