Welcoming setbacks
Our monthly Illoguild question is on the topic of Rejection
Oh my word - I could write all day about the various fantabulous rejections I have experienced:- from being sacked by a law firm to being asked to leave Uni due to poor grades, TWICE, and the kind of relationship fails which would set your teeth on edge. I’m sure I’ve mentioned the review where my children’s characters were called ‘Terrifying’ and even though it stung a little at the time, it was entirely accurate.
I’ve called my article ‘setbacks’ rather than rejection because most of the situations I have found myself in, whether that be my career or general life, have been unexpected but haven’t stopped me. As a natural optimist I am often late and totally suprised when the clock dongs ‘late’; the train pulls out of the station without me on it, or the car battery says ‘nearly empty, will you permit me to take you to the nearest charging station?’. But I do tend to exhibit a bullish kind of tenacity that doesn’t take no for an answer.
When I get rejected, I tend to ask myself ‘did I really want it in the first place?’ and if the answer is yes, then I find a way to reframe my un-readiness and address what is lacking.
Failed your A’level exams and told ‘No’ by every single University and Polytechnic in the UK to study your favourite course? Study a course you hate for a year and sneak in the back of all the lectures you wanted to watch, until they let you on at the next intake.
Get sacked for being too drunk at the work party? Pivot. Go back to night school for a postgrad diploma and keep on studying until you can slay the day job and don’t need to hide behind a glass of wine at the next professional function.
Spend many years with all the wrong kind of partners? Interview all your friends and ask them - what makes your relationship work well, then devise your own list of non-negotiables as well as working out what virtues you can offer and commit to.
Refused your right to work part-time around a neuro-spicy family? Go freelance and set your own rules on term-time working and demand a daily rate which makes child care or schooling affordable for you.
Of course these tales of succeeding despite the odds or becoming a champion in the face of adversity have to be tempered against the choices which took me to those locations. My ego tempted me to become a world famous scientist; I changed my A-levels from the Arts too late in the first year and never caught up. Chasing money took me away from my long-loved graphic job and my attraction to aesthetically pleasing, yet arrogant men was never going to end well. The permanent work - well, I stand by that decision, because I expected to be treated fairly, but Financial Services don’t always abide by the rules.
When it comes to something being rejected which came from your own heart - that’s slightly more difficult to stomach. My frightening characters were more suitable for middle grade, but currently that wasn’t where my focus was. So I committed to working on drawing people for a year - taking my sketchbook on holidays and on commuter trains, studying interactions in coffee shops and parks. Slowly but surely I started to recognise where limbs should be foreshortened and worked out why all my side profile faces looked like a flat-headed witch. My character got a facelift and even featured in a sketchbook competition…and won!
Some of the best advice I have received in writing circles is to submit and move on as though you didn’t get selected. Don’t pine. Just this week, after completing a fantastic course by The Goodship Illustration, I was wondering what my next steps might be to prepare for Bologna Children’s Book Fair. Then out of blue, I received a note from Books That Help to let me know that my text for the mentorship competition had been placed in the top 9 submissions! Talk about giddy - I have been on cloud 9 all day, eager to finish work so that I can plan out how to illustrate my text and create a dummy. This message from Clare Helen Welsh was all the sweeter, because I had totally forgotten about my application.
So maybe the answer is to expect rejection, welcome set-backs, use the opportunity to question if you are chasing the right dream and if your research within concludes that yes, this is your heart’s desire - set up a more rigorous plan of action to get there. Be bold. Get to work. Cross your fingers that something goes wrong and gives you another much welcomed pivot (but maybe don’t get sacked).
Stay creative!
xx Tabs xx